The secret to stronger friendships
Friendship is one of the most beautiful things we get to experience in life. But let’s be real—navigating friendships as an adult isn’t always easy.
People are busy.
Seasons change.
Energy shifts.
And if we’re not mindful, we can start measuring our friendships based on who is showing up exactly how we want them to, exactly when we need them to.
But here’s the thing: The key to truly fulfilling friendships isn’t about holding people to rigid expectations. It’s about accepting what your friends can give, when they can give it.
I have a lot of close friends in my life, and I’ve learned that it’s not realistic to expect everyone to be fully present all the time.
Life is happening for everyone—career shifts, personal challenges, relationships, family obligations. Sometimes, a friend is in a season where they can be deeply involved in my life, texting every day, making plans, checking in.
Other times, that same friend might be overwhelmed with their own world and unable to show up in the way I’m used to.
That doesn’t mean the friendship is broken.
It doesn’t mean they don’t care. It simply means that right now, their capacity is different. And I know that at some point, I’ll be in a season where I can’t show up the way they might want me to, either.
There is freedom in letting go!!!
When you approach friendships with flexibility and grace, everything feels lighter. You stop taking things personally. You stop creating narratives in your head about why someone isn’t texting as much or why they declined an invite.
Instead, you learn to appreciate the moments when someone can show up for you—and trust that when the seasons shift, the dynamic might shift too.
This mindset has changed my relationships in the best way.
Instead of feeling disappointed when a friend isn’t as available, I lean into gratitude for the moments when they are. I trust that if our friendship is strong, we will always find our way back to each other’s presence in a meaningful way.
A big part of this is releasing control—not just of others, but of your own ego.
Because sometimes, if we’re being honest, we want people to show up for us in a way that validates our own needs and expectations. But true friendship isn’t about demanding love in a specific way. It’s about allowing people to love you in the way they can at that moment.
This doesn’t mean you tolerate one-sided relationships where you’re the only one giving.
It means recognizing that friendships ebb and flow, and when your friend has the capacity to be there for you, it’s coming from a genuine place.
I want this kind of grace in my own life—so I practice it with others. I don’t hold grudges when someone is in a quieter season. I don’t let my mind spiral into assumptions. I just trust.
And because of that, my friendships feel more peaceful, more fulfilling, and more real.
If you’ve been feeling disappointed in a friendship lately, pause and ask yourself:
Am I allowing this person to show up in the way they can right now?
Am I holding on to resentment instead of embracing flexibility?
Have I considered that I might also go through a season where I can’t give as much?
When you start approaching friendships with this ease, you’ll notice something: Your relationships feel lighter. Stronger. Less filled with pressure, and more filled with love.
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Breaking the Silence: Why Our Female Friendships Need More Conflict + Communication
So, love your people when they can show up for you. Appreciate the moments when they do. And trust that the seasons will keep shifting—just like they always do.