Learning to Mother Yourself
Over the past few years, I’ve been on a deep journey of re-mothering — a term I learned from the brilliant Bethany Webster. It’s the practice of learning to become the mother you always needed.
To tend to the parts of yourself that felt abandoned, silenced, dismissed or never quite “enough.”
To provide the love, validation, protection, and nurturing that may not have been available to you when you were younger.
Whether or not you had a present, loving mom growing up, no one escapes childhood without their own version of unmet needs or wounds.
Maybe your mother didn’t know how to hold your emotions. Maybe she projected her pain onto you. Maybe she tried her best but didn’t have the tools to give you what you needed.
This is not about blame. It’s about liberation.
Bethany Webster says that healing the “mother wound” is the key to coming home to yourself. It’s how we reclaim our power, worth, voice, and wholeness — not by demanding someone else give it to us, but by turning inward and saying: “I’m here now. I’ve got you.”
That voice inside that criticizes you? That calls you dramatic for feeling too much? That tells you you’re only lovable when you’re perfect?
That voice isn’t you. It’s internalized from somewhere.
And so, this is where the sacred work begins: choosing a new voice.
When I started to mother myself, everything shifted:
I stopped abandoning myself to please others.
I stopped silencing myself to keep the peace.
I stopped waiting for someone else to tell me I was enough—I started creating rituals that reminded me I already was.
I created space in the mornings to listen to my body, instead of overriding her.
I started asking: What would the most loving mother do right now?
Would she tell me to push through the burnout and hustle for my worth? Or would she say, "Rest, angel. You’re already enough."
Would she tell me to suck it up when I’m hurting? Or would she hold me and say, "I know it hurts. I’m here."
Would she shame me for crying? Or celebrate that I have a heart wide enough to feel so deeply?
Today, I invite you to do something simple and powerful: Take one moment to mother yourself.
Place your hand on your heart. Close your eyes. And say to yourself: "I love you. I see you. I’ll never leave you."
Whether you had the most incredible mother or you’re still untangling the complexities of your relationship, you get to decide what kind of mothering you receive now.
You get to parent the younger parts of you that didn’t get what they needed. And you get to offer yourself a love that is unconditional, present, and healing.
I want to honor every kind of mother reading this…
The mamas who are raising babies.
The ones who are grieving.
The ones who’ve lost children.
The ones who’ve chosen not to have them.
The ones who are learning to be their own.
Today, we honor all of you.
All of her.
And all of the little yous inside, who are so worthy of love.
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